Wednesday 5 February 2014

Big Boy Dinners and Planetary Defence

I ate a can of spaghetti sauce for dinner a couple of nights back. I was sitting there with the sauce, and it occurred to me that it was probably going to be the tastiest part of the meal that I was about to eat. Why wouldn't I just have that? The pasta would dilute the flavour with its plainness. Why do we even make pasta? Pasta is just convention. Convention isn't the boss of me. I'm a grown up. I get to make all sorts of decisions now. Decisions like eating cans of Campbell's Spaghetti Sauce as stand alone meals.

Part of being a grownup is the responsibility to ask questions of what you are presented with  on an everyday sort of level. Should I cross when the man is green, or should I wait until he is red? You should go when he is green. That one is a bad example. It is a safety thing that comes down to everyone being on the same page. It isn't really open to individuality. Being your own person when it comes to traffic lights is how accidents happen. There are other things though. There are so many things. Things where you can safely be open to seeing the truth of that thing, or another associated thing. Should you eat toast upside down so that the flavour goes on your actual flavour receptors? I know Dr Seuss wrote a book that openly denounces a war over which side of your bread the flavour should live on, but I think it is because he would most likely favour public education, backed up by an efficient and thorough eugenics program. This is another bad example. Don't question this either. Just do what I tell you on this one. It's gotta be flavour to the tongue.

Another example would be the Voltron hedgehog in Western Australia, which is very clearly not a giant milk carton. People will tell you that it is a milk carton, but milk cartons don't have eyes. It's very clearly a giant robotic hedgehog that is ready to fly into space at a moment's notice to defend the Earth with its laser spines. Laser is way better for this sort of giant robot battle action than keratin. Keratin is fine for letting house cats know that you are not to be trifled with, but when you're defending a planet you need laser. Years of research have gone into this.You can't see the laser spines right now, but you can see where they would come out. It can't use its laser spines inside the atmosphere, because too much of the good stuff would be ruined. Not good 'good stuff', but parts of Western Australia 'good stuff', which is still something that I have been lead to believe is not something that one wants ruined. There are people living there. This is second hand. I don't know this from my own experience. I'll look into it.

I know it's not as visually appealing as the plug-and-play, robot-lion gestalt stationed out of Japan, but it's a lot more awesome than nothing. It would need to be thoroughly investigated, but I'm pretty certain that it doesn't form up with other giant non-native robots. I haven't seen any about. Not that I've done that thorough investigation that I mentioned earlier, but I like to think we'd notice. You know. As a nation. Perhaps now that you know to be on the lookout you'll find the rest. I'm not saying for absolute certain that there is in fact more of these things squirrelled away around the country, but if you see something, let me know. It would be absolutely like the Australian government to go for the 'most cost efficient' option. Japan has both Lion Force and Vehicle Force Voltrons, and the Power Rangers, and who knows what else. They're prepared. We are not. There is a budgetary committee that has left us in the lurch on the whole invasion front.

No one could ever accuse Australia of becoming involved in an escalating arms race that would lead to mutually assured destruction on an interplanetary level. No one!

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