Having trouble with Panda's comic on mobiles?

It has been brought to my attention that some people are having trouble getting the comic to load in a readable resolution on their smartphones, and I'm fairly certain that I've found the root cause of the problem.

After a little QA here at United by Glue I think we've narrowed the problem down to the mobile version of the site which appears to bit-crush the life out of images making text indecipherable.

Is there a way around this?

Yes, there is. Tapping on the image opens it in a new window, where it is not only displayed at its full resolution, but it's all easy to zoom in and scroll the image.

Alternatively, you can scroll to the bottom of the page, and click on ' View web version', which takes a little longer, and makes the site hard to navigate on small screens, so probably don't do that.

I am trying to find the time to sit down and fix the problem in the mobile version of the site, but I don't have a heap of spare time in which I'm not tired right now, but when it does happen, I will most definitely let you all know.

Until then, I hope I've made reading Panda Rhu on the go just a little easier.

A Spot of Building

There are grand plans for it when it's finished. Well, not grand, but grander. Right now it is mostly used as a landing strip for sandwiches that I toss up so that I can eat them in bed. Needless to say, there has been an increase in the number of sandwiches being consumed in bed.

Imagine that you're already at a point where, most days, you're at two out of three meals a day being of the sandwich format. Plus, maybe, some sort of smaller sandwich type snack. Most days.

This is your starting point. Well, it's ours.

Any new advancements made to broaden the sandwich based meal horizon is something of which advantage will be taken.

Though sandwiches were being consumed in the bed previously, there was a limit on this because there was nowhere for unconsumed sandwiches, partially consumed sandwiches, or the resulting crumbed sandwich bag or plate to reside.

This is changed. We have homes for all those things.

It would be fair, and honest, to say that this sandwich based functionality is not a temporary situation. The plan now is that this sort of sandwich convenience be ongoing. If push came to shove and hard decisions had to be made, I would live among the boxes, and keep the 2220mm high sandwich table.

All in all, Panda and I are happy with what's going on here. Sandwiches are more or less a guarantee of that.

Pandering to Panda's panda fans, who're tired of panning for panda gold!

What if I told you that you could now easily find and read all of the Panda comics in one easy to scroll list?

What if that was made a available to you?

Would you read all the Panda you found there?

Would you tell your friends?

Would you seek out panda enthusiasts and thrust it unbidden and unceremoniously upon their unsuspecting corporeal forms?

Well, this is a real thing. All of the Panda comics including both the original, late 2014, and current (hopefully ongoing) run are available in chronological order for your consumption.

Clicking on 'The Comic' will whisk you away to a magical world of snacks, unpaid product placement, and the occasional puddles of science.

Not included are the the two early proto-comics from the depths of late 2013, in which Panda dresses up as The Jedi Doctor, and yells at the sun, respectively. You can still find them where they've always been. Deep in the bowels of the United by Glue archive.

There is also The Octopus, which may or may not be The Octopus. He won't tell me, and he certainly won't tell you.

If you love Panda, or just pandas, now is the time to rifle through the back catalogue. The comicography if you will. And you should! Will that is. Will it hard, and will it long, and then have your will fulfilled by the chill sequentill still mill until your now methphoicill gills spill with digitill krill, Bill!

Explore the heavy asset reuse in the early comics, (which quite frankly I'm probably going to start doing again). Witness the stylistic inconsistency of the great majority of it. Marvel at his colour reversed eyes in the one with the cat in the box. Wonder what happened to the number 8 (and the punchline in the Christmas one). It's all there! Except the just now aforementioned numeral and punchline, which are not.

Reading (a collection of a very specific thing) has never been so easy!

Panda up!

The Untimely Obsolescence of Appliances

The Unboxed Certainty of Science

The Uncertain Science of Boxes

One better than the one we're doing now!

From a strictly numerical point of view, next year will be one better than the one we're doing now.

I'm all about this!

By all traditionally observed units and measures I failed at 2014. I don't often go in for traditional though, unless it's something that I like, but even then I'm not exclusively traditional, it's just in amongst everything else in the grab-bag that I have grabbed.

So I'll take my +1 thanks folks.

I'm not unhappy with 2014. It saw the beginning of some projects that I hope to continue/finish, a couple of which are things you can (and may have already) see(n), I discovered that you can cook cookies in a wok, and Scott Bakula is once again the lead of a Donald P. Bellisario TV production (where he belongs).

Panda is the star of his own comic now. That's new for him. He's having a good time with it. We both are.

The people who've known Panda the longest have been aware that this was an idea back in the early days of our partnership. They've heard me talk about it to varying degrees over the last few years, and also probably heard the umming and ahhing that went along with the ebb and flow of my enthusiasm for the project.

The drawing, which was the original deterrent, has ended up being far easier than I imagined. I'm not totally terrible at it. Stuff looks like stuff, which is the goal. The writing jokes in a neat three panel format, on the other hand, is something that I need to work at.

It's still a weird process for me. It's different. They're not really one-liners. They're interactions that sometimes contain one-liners, but they need to have these breaks in them. There is a pacing thing on which my grasp needs to be mightier. I often say them out loud, and I've realised that that's not working. It's a different system of delivery. Something that I've never really thought about before.

I'm enjoying the whole process, so there's a good chance I'll keep making them.

There is this other thing over on another part of the internet that I am doing with my old friend, maverick_boxer. That is not his real name. Clearly. He has another name, but that is the one he is using for this thing that we're doing. This thing called Failure to Launch, and it's a specific kind of thing that is pretty different from what I do here. It's one of those let's play shows that all the tubers are doing these days.

If that's the sort of thing that interests you, take a gander. If listening to me talk a whole lot of nonsensical shit while my friend tries to explain how a computer game works sounds like your cup of tea, you should definitely take a gander.

I might try and find a way to tuck it away somewhere here on The Glue, so that you can stay informed. Sort of a cross promotional thing. For now though, it's over on the InterTubes.

I hope you're still reading to enjoy the flavoursome juices that United by Glue will be bringing you in the coming year. I look forward to smuggling these things deep into your brain for the purposes of mirth. 

Oh, I just thought of something. 

Porpoises of Mirth and a Happy New Year!

The Unseasonal Delay of Construction

The Unequivocal Importance of Safety

The Unequalled Nutrition of Custard

The Unparalleled Impact of Beverages

The Unquestionable Suitability of Gifts

We cruised up and passed the third anniversary of this iteration of United by Glue. The same thing happened last year. Last year we also delivered an octopus, but I would argue that it's a substantially more impressive octopus this year. It has colours.

The octopus was meant to be a one off for last year, and then we were going to move beyond the cephalopod anniversary, but here we are.

This year we saw the approach of the day in question, and we made a move that, at the time, felt bold. A move to change the nature of The Glue. To change what was on offer. That was a plan from early on, and now it's a thing that is actually kind of happening.

I say 'kind of' on account of only being three deep at this stage, but the plan is to continue at it.

I hope you're enjoying Panda in this form.

The Inevitable Frustration of Setback

The Unwelcome Invasion of Fact

McCloud Nine

Once upon a time I made the decision not to go on a second date with someone part way through the first date. Actually, that isn't a one off. But the one particular time that I am referring to as the 'once upon a time' with which I started this paragraph was right after they had finished saying, 'Is he that Grand Designs guy? I think he is overrated and kind of idiotic.' In response I merely continued my meal. People like that can't be taught. It's hard to come back from that. I'm not that kind of wizard. I can't help these people. They're on their own.

I watch Kevin McCloud MBE and Kevin McCloud MBE related material. That is a part of who I am. I'm not likely to stop any time soon either. That is an intrinsic part of my makeup. I have the Grand Designs viewer gene. It's in there somewhere.

Have you ever seen the first episode in which you can absolutely tell that he got a haircut between the initial meeting with the couple and the next time he turned up? I have. Lots of times. I have a box set. It's one of the kit house ones. It is the first of the kit house ones. A great many followed. He likes kit houses. I do too. It's like Meccano that you get to live in, or like an Ikea cabinet that you get to live in. Either way it is a dream of mine.

I have often wondered if you could just order one of those little apartments that they build in the store. Just tick some boxes, choose a finish and then get the whole thing delivered. In a situation like that you would feel as though you had to frame the Allen keys afterwards. I would.

I like the idea of living in a prepackaged environment. I don't think I have enough individuality to really be concerned with how many other people had the same arrangement. I guess that is why I go to Ikea anyway. That and the hotdogs. Sometimes I go for the ride with other people just so I can stroll through the store and get hotdogs. As we have discussed before, I consider hotdogs to be a type of sandwich, and this brings them under a wider umbrella sandwich obsession.

I sometimes wonder if Kevin McCloud, with his background in interior design, likes Ikea, and/or their hotdogs. Or if he considers it an assault on his sensibilities. I wonder if he would do a walkthrough show with me. We could talk about the things that Ikea has available and we could eat hotdogs afterwards. Panda could come with us. A sort of journey to the place of his adoption. It wouldn't be weird. Not terribly. Maybe some level of weird. Panda is a pretty big fan. He might just stare at him and not say anything. That could be awkward.

I guess in this scenario in which Panda is staring at Kevin McCloud as we wander through Ikea I could be his sidekick. In a way. Kevin's. Not Panda's. I mean, I could be Panda's too, but for different things. Definitely Panda's when it's hotdog time. And lingonberry drink time. Flatpack gingerbread houses would be a tough call. I mean, it is basically a cookie house,which is Panda town, but it is also a kit house, which is Kevin territory.

Have you tried that lingonberry drink? I really like it, but that came with practise. Not that I rehearsed drinking it at home, because that would be just drinking. You don't drink it differently. It's like a lot of other drinks in that way. I suppose you could Swedish drink ceremony, but that is not what I am doing. I'm just drinking it. With my face. Specifically the mouth bit of my face. I know how to do that. I stuck at it for a while and it grew on me is what I am saying. It's really good with the orange flavoured one. They compliment each other. Like any two flavours of Slurpee.

Please for treats?

We are treat enthusiasts. Panda and I, and in fact a great many of the people that we know. That face that he is making there. That is his 'Please for treats?' face. You can seen the expectation, and the uncertainty. He is a little bit sad, because he does not yet have the treats that he coverts, but the possibility for excitement is there. Who could say 'no' to this face? Not me. I can't. I've tried. It doesn't work. Things happen anyway. He is a very passionate bear. Especially so when treats are concerned. Also, I am weak.

Did I mention that we are treat enthusiasts? We consider this is a sub-category of our snack enthusiasm, which leads us to eat sliced bread in bed. In this role we call it bed bread (trade mark pending). (That's not true. There is no trade mark pending.) (We'd actually be quite happy if other people started using the term. Couples everywhere could bed bread together.)

Quite often our requests for treats are made to the ether, but occasionally this works. We had recently been discussing our need for treats when a friend asked us if we wanted biltong. Do you know what that is? It is like South African super jerky. It is South African super jerky. We're pretty big on a variety of jerkies, and have in the past been ostracised for our particular fondness for a number of seafood jerkies. If we had to pick a favourite though, it is probably going to be the meats. We like dried meats. They are like meat cookies. Kind of. Not when they're this big though. Actually, our pervious cookie experience would say that cookies can actually be much larger than this.

This was gifted at us by people who love us. It was home made. Not by the people who gifted it, but we're still incredibly grateful and more than a little enamoured. It is a lot of dried meat. Here is a comparative photo with Panda. It's a lot of biltong.

See how professional he looks. He has done this sort of thing before. I know he is focussing on the biltong, but he's only human. No he isn't. That isn't what he is. Anyway, the cherry-tomato is there as a backup. It is actually larger than most of the cherry tomatoes that I have known, but we only had the two punnetts. I was working with what I had. Abnormally sized fruit and easily distracted pandas. It's amateur hour.

We've eaten most of it now, because we are grateful for the treats that we have been given. Also it is dried meat, and it is delicious. No treat goes unappreciated. That is a rule we live by. You know. Just in case you were wondering whether we would appreciate future gifts of treats you were considering. We would. We also share the same neck size.

Just saying.

Until we get our own

We're pretty keen on theme songs, but we don't have a theme song of our very own to keep. Individually or as a whole. Not yet. We aren't working on it either, because we aren't good at that sort of thing. We aren't a songstress collective, or whatever the male version of that is. I feel like I know those words. Anyway, we write songs and we like them, but they are predominantly about cheese, and ham, and what happened to that , and sometimes why we can't eat fruit flavoured shampoo. Well, we can and we do, but the problem is that that does not taste like it smells. That actually isn't a sometimes thing either, that is more of a semi-regular thing. We're persistent. We buy different brands just incase one of them has cracked it. You think I'm kidding. I'm not. This is our life. We're dreamers.

Look, if it turns out that shampoo is really not at all good for you, we'll probably take that shampoo tasting energy and find another dream to apply it to. Like our dreams of having our own theme songs. Panda and I. Probably the Octo-Hoff too. He doesn't talk much. A lot of that is as a result of me not really knowing a lot about cephalopods. I'm not sure he has a voice. I don't think octopuses make noises. Maybe they do. Not my area. We know the dragon wants one, but he's new. He goes last. In the meantime Panda says that you need to learn and sing this song with the following corrections to the lyrics. If you then want to record and post it to YouTube or another media sharing digital media hoard, that is up to you.

I gotta get up
I gotta get going
I'm gonna see a friend of mine

He's round and he's fuzzy
I love him because he's just

Rhu Bear, Panda the Rhu Bear
Cooking some lunch, tasty for tummies please
Rhu Bear, I know he's in bed,
Grumberly slumberly, dreaming of cookie trees

Lunch never ends for us
We're so surrenderous
We cease every now and again
But when we're alone
And there's nobody home
It is nice to call up for takeout with friends like

Rhu Bear, Panda the Rhu Bear
Wherever you go, oh won't you take your keys
Rhu Bear, I gotta be there
It's me and it's you
My silly old Panda the Rhu

You can see from the lyrics that a great deal of our life revolves around food, and locking ourselves out. That's me. I lock myself out. He sleeps. It's a division of labour. We do other things too, but none with such great regularity. Certainly not write clever theme songs. We do other clever things. This is about as well as we can do for the time being, and it will have to do. Our other options mostly include descending into nonsense, which we're likely to do anyway.

I should make clear that both Panda and I have other friends. It isn't just the two of us. We know and appreciate the company of some other people. None of whom are woodland animals, which is sad. We know a cat, but he is about as non-woodland as you can get. Well, some kind of exclusively deep sea dwelling thing would probably be more non-woodland than a domestic house-cat. There are probably a great many things that more non-woodland. It was a silly thing to say. Sorry.

I'm not sorry.

Still leaping after all these years

Panda and I have developed this theory that actors, especially those employed by the television, only ever play the one character across every show they ever appear in, as if all of television was a single ongoing epic from first broadcast to the day the satellites finally come crashing home. This theory is mainly driven by Kelsey Grammar's performance of attrition as Dr Fraiser Crane, and Kevin McCloud's repeated performances as Kevin McCloud MBE.

The theory assumes that a lot of the bridging plot elements that include time machines and witness protection programs happen off screen due to budgetary and pacing issues. Do we really want to watch the series of events that led Michael Knight to become a divorced lifeguard with a son and a deep affection for little red shorts. I'm okay where they picked up. Baywatch needed the mystery.

At the end of the day it is still kind of selective, and usually only includes multi season roles, but when we really truly get down to it, this is all about Quantum Leap and Scott "Dr Sam Beckett" Bakula. What it is that we are saying is that Scott Bakula has been playing Dr Sam Beckett in every TV show he has ever been in. Ever! Even pre QL roles. It's just him leaping from life to life. This will include his starring role on the upcoming pilot for NCIS: New Orleans. This is really the most enjoyment we get out of it. I'm not going to lie to you. We love Scott Bakula, and we're a little unstable for Quantum Leap. And by a little unstable, we wrote an outline for a sequel. And we love Quantum Leap. We are going to watch every episode of this new extension of the series thing, because we love Quantum Leap. We are going to watch every episode, and wonder if he misses Al. He does. You can tell.

The reason that he no longer has Al is that Sam changed Al's past in the last episode causing his first marriage to stay together. Al's, not his own. Thus removing Al's subsequent failed marriages, and even subsequenter lapse into liver abuse, and his even more subsequenter meeting with Dr Samuel Beckett at the vending machine. It's very complicated. Panda explains it much better than I do. He uses oranges and mustard. The mustard stays in the jars. It's mustard jars. It makes sense when he does it. Basically Sam gave up on his only connection to his home time, and potentially the entire friendship, so that that his best friend could be happy. He's alone out there.

Then at some stage following this he leaps into the body of Captain Jonathan Archer of the original Enterprise NX-01. Spent some years there, because who wouldn't. You'd be crazy not to. Turning down The Seat on any Enterprise is like climate change denier crazy. It's like you're broken inside. No one can fix you from that.

Wait. I forgot to mention that he didn't leap home at the end, but realised that he had the ability to decide when he leaped all along. Where was I? Oh. Yeah. He's all alone out there. Imagine what that would do to your psyche. You'd be literally only living other people's lives. No one is calling your name, and you can't talk to anyone about what's going on. That's harrowing. You would be harrowed. Your psyche would be harrowed down to a little nub. Or it would go the other way and you'd be deeply entrenched in the god complex side of just straight up bat shit crazy. I like to think I'd be a mix. Like boysenberry swirl.

On an unrelated note, Panda and I have a fantastic idea for a Quantum Leap sequel. It actually has boysenberry swirl in it. Damn it! Now I want ice cream.

Did you know that if you google image search  for 'boysenberry swirl' you get a lot of pictures of clothing made by people who've never seen boysenberry swirl? These are strewn amongst pictures of actual properly coloured boysenberry swirl. I've eaten the blue flavour that they call 'bubblegum', and I know that it is in reality the Gonzo flavour, and I'm happy not knowing what it is. I've accepted that it most probably smacks of Smurf. I can live with that, but if I was involved with ice cream that had more than a single shade of blue I would start to use my concerned face. Am I eating Smurf & Muppet Baby Ripple? Maybe I'm not ready for that.

Did you also know that this whole situation has done nothing but heighten my desire for ice cream? Live and learn.

The Sandwich on the Orient Express, and other Mysteries

Based on Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie.

Very loosely.

Loose is probably the most important word thus far.

I found a sandwich in my fridge last night. This isn't like the hotdog situation. I actually remembered buying it once I saw it. It was pretty special though, and I think I realised that right down in the very core of who I am, I am happiest when I am finding sandwiches.

Even though I had been recently responsible for the arrival of the sandwich into my life and the fridge, it felt like magic. It brightened my entire outlook on life. The key in this particular sandwich discovery was forgetting that it was there. I'm not sure how to guarantee this in the future, but I feel like finding sandwiches is something I could do for the rest of my life.

It was at about this stage that Panda decided that this was also his calling, and also something that he should go about as Hercule Panda, the great detective. I lost a little track of how we got to the bit where he spoke with a very bad accent and solved crimes around my granny flat for the better part of three hours, but it was amusing. I also lost track of how I managed to be both the client and culprit in a number of missing foodstuff related crimes dating back months. I also apparently started the Franco-Prussian War, and am personally, and criminally, responsible for the cancellation of Quantum Leap.

I say that I was the client, because I apparently am heavily in debt for the cost of the services of the 'world renowned' Hercule Panda. A debt that I am apparently required to pay in a variety of snack based currencies. There might be some sort of exchange rate investigation in the near future.

Now, if the adventures started as a loose adaptation of the works of Agatha Christie, they were somewhere beyond 'loosely inspired by' towards the end. Despite having seen nearly every David Suchet Poirot mystery, Panda became insistent that Poirot's, and thus his own, crime solving catch phrase was a variant of 'I solved the crime with my face', and then later 'faces', as a result of the 'language barrier'.

I tried to correct him on that, but I was informed that he was in fact 'a triple panda', which he explained as a result of taking the 'pandarocity' of two other pandas, which he in turn explained by  saying, 'Like that movie Highlander. Did you see that? I'm one of those. All pandas are'.

'You're cutting the heads off pandas?'

'They're all doing it.'

'You do know they're endangered?'

'There can be only one.'

Petite, Whizzy Ninja-Bucket Action!

We made it back to Sydney. I took both my laptops away with me (the two main ones) with every intention of doing something productive, but I basically played Scribblenauts Unlimited and Batman: Arkham City whenever anyone left me to my own devices. I got a miniature food processor in a Kris Kringle on Christmas Eve. I originally got a 1kg (100 piece) box of pralines, but I managed to trade for the buzz box. It seemed like an excellent trade. It still does. I think I live for this thing now. It strikes me as the the sort of thing that a bachelor would have, and I am one of those now. It even only does a very small amount, as if it is saying, "Your life is yours, and so is this single portion of goop." I was pretty keen to get down to my bachelory ways straight away, but I wasn't immediately sure how one proceeds with this sort of activity.

I'd already decided on what I was having for breakfast, so my first step was to put that into my shiny new miniature buzz bucket. As far as bachelors go, we were feeling pretty bachelory.

I want to take a moment to focus on the mininess of the 'mini food processor'. It's not very big. They didn't lie about that. The box does suggest that one might have some difficulty fitting strawberries inside it, but that is misleading. I've included a picture of it with Panda, who isn't the same size as most pandas appear to be on the internet. We haven't done a side by side, but he is pretty small. I think you get the idea anyway. He is new to this. We couldn't remember if he had ever been used for size comparisons before. We don't think so. That blue teapot is also abnormally small, so there really isn't much in this picture that is helpful.

Once I had loaded my breakfast in, I pressed The Button. It only has one, which is good for us bachelors. It is also good because Panda's fingers don't separate. The result was a mechanically pre-chewed breakfast that looked a lot like freshly squeezed orange juice with bits of bacon in it, which might very well pass for breakfast in some places. Not at my places, or wherever I happen to be. I don't want that. If you're in a position to make me breakfast, keeping this in mind would be deeply appreciated. Mind you, if you're making me breakfast, I'm probably going eat what I'm given.

I fried it, which seemed like the only way forward at that point. I could've done one of a variety of other cookings, but there was already a pan out.

I didn't really know what to do next, so I put it on a sandwich. This is the height of civility. This is the kind of thing that civilised people do. I'm not sure about the whole processing and frying your breakfast thing, which seems a lot less civilised. That seems like the kind of thing that lazy people do, or at the very least the kind of thing that people with brand new, petite, whizzy ninja-jars do.

We're pretty happy with our first forays into this sort of activity. We like little machines that do things for you that you could conceivably do for yourself. We've been informed that this is the very same sentiment that will lead to the robot revolution.