Saturday 2 November 2013

Legends/Lingerie Football League

I don't know how aware everyone is of softpornball, but it's growing in popularity. I think it is really important to consider the positive impact on the way female athletes are depicted in this country. I think that it is a big step in the right direction towards the de-trivialisation of women in sport in Australia. The 'uniforms'  are the key to this. They have the benefit of being light-weigh, unrestrictive, and seem specifically designed for 'wardrobe malfunctions', so there's that.

I played a short stint of that armoured American football thing, and it's a fairly serious impact sport. You wear the gear, because you need it. As far as anatomy and physics are concerned, those helmets are the arch nemesis of joints. Not to mention anywhere that you might have a bone. There is also the whole Australian sun thing, which I hear is doling out cancer these days. There isn't really a lot going on in regards to covering up the players. I can't wait to see how the first woman who wants to wear longs is treated by the promoters and the gold members.

The thing that strikes me as completely absurd about the whole situation is that between porn-sport, caged blood-sport, and mindless reality nonsense we've pretty much assembled the the broadcast media Voltron herald of a dystopian society as depicted by late Twentieth Century science fiction. Just an observation.

I understand the market for it. I mean, there are at least a few million men in Australia who struggle on a daily basis to decide between watching sport and twisting one out. The broadcast rights are the important part too, because live games would just be a bunch of genetically defective misogynists trying not to be the first to take his pants off in public, all the while staring at their sweaty, expectant palms to avoid the awkward obligation for conversation that comes with eye contact.

I feel like we are only a couple of years from televised, tits out, destruction derbies filling the midweek ratings slump. We could measure the home viewers arousal levels as we find previously untapped mediums to redress as soft-porn. We have the technology.

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